Living in the social era has its advantages and disadvantages. On one hand, it helps us to connect, share and support others while on the other hand, it makes us strive towards something that doesn’t exist, Perfectionism. In recent times, Social Networks have become a way to project our daily lives ( which mostly includes only the positive things and achievements) to people across the world. Although Social Networks are great tools for helping others, Nowadays they are being used for imposing/forcing one’s opinion onto others. In particular, People have been dealing with an Identity crisis, lower self-confidence and self-esteem due to the unrealistic portrayal of beauty.
Perfectionism is not a new concept, it has been a problem for centuries. Over decades, People have a cultivated a thought on how a person should look like, behave like and even think like.
When an Individual matches the description of an Ideal Person, he/she becomes attractive in peoples eyes. This false sense of perfection makes people instantly agree with the person’s opinions and statements even if they’re wrong. With the evolvement of social media, this problem has gotten deeper. Many studies show how this idea of perfection is directly linked to Anxiety, Depression and even suicidal tendencies.
PSYCHOLOGY BEHIND PERFECTION
Why people want to be a perfectionist?
The No.1 thing that drives people to chase after perfectionism is the thought of being wrong.
Since our childhood, we are constantly taught not to ask questions and make any mistake. What’s worse is that often in schools or at home we are punished/ laughed at when we commit a mistake. These thoughts induce fear in our subconscious, the fear of being wrong.
We are so scared of being wrong that often times we don’t even try to do something because of the fear of being laughed at. Everyone ( including us) expects us to be perfect, whether it’s beauty, academics, sports, businesses, etc.
But the reality is that a thing like perfection doesn’t exist. Even the smartest, wealthy people on this planet make thousands of mistakes in their life. The only difference between us and them is that they know making mistakes is inevitable. They aren’t very critical of their mistakes.
Types of Perfectionists :
These are people that set unrealistic expectations from themselves. They are very quick to find mistakes and flaws in themselves. Moreover, They don’t celebrate their success because they seek validation from others.
On one hand, where egoistic perfectionists are quick to find a flaw in themselves, Socially-oriented perfectionists expect perfection from all those around them. They are judgemental of every step taken by others. Their definition of perfection is that everything should happen according to the standards set by them.
How to Overcome Perfectionism?
The first step is to realize that it is not a mental illness until it becomes an excessive need. Perfectionism can sometimes help us to perform better than expected.
Now, the most important thing to realize here is that there are written steps that can help you. What it means is, the chase for perfectionism is an internal problem and the only solution to this is Understanding.
Understanding that it’s a myth, non-existent and no matter how long you chase it for, there will always be some minor flaw in it even if you don’t see it. This understanding will free your mind from unrealistic expectations. Observing that this world is imperfect will remind you that you aren’t alone.